Weekend good. Work bad.

My head is a blur today, my frustration levels raised by an early-morning conference call with Ottawa, and restless with the thought of more creative things than briefing notes and project plans. And so it goes – knowing that I’ll get through this day, and that my counterpart on this work-project out east is struggling with the internal bullshit politics even more than me.

Got back from Victoria on the first harbour-to-harbour flight of the day – a beautiful morning for such a tour of the archipelago, morning sun and mist coming off the sea below. It’s a funny thing coming to work by airplane – but it makes for a much shorter trip than the tedious chain of ferries and highways between the Island and the Sunshine Coast – and gives me a lot more time away than I would otherwise have.

Had a decent weekend in Victoria this time around and got to spend some quality playtime with Greg in addition to meeting the family obligations and visiting with some friends. Actually invited Greg for dinner to meet the folks and he accepted (which surprised me) – which then made me feel awkward because I haven’t brought anyone to meet the folks since Darren seven years ago. I think Greg was more relaxed about it than me, and of course, it was all fine and very civil and a bit funny. Still, I’m finding myself a bit tense about it, mostly because I am in the process of trying to resolve my feelings about this relationship in the context of what has been a difficult emotional period. I think my involvement in Darren’s case – his re-entry of my life in such a dramatic and pseudo-tragic fashion – has hampered my ability to see beyond loss and the full expression of my emotional connections… The only way I see to work through that is to keep at developing and redeveloping relationships that bring sustenance and support – so I am granting permission to myself to have more social time this summer as a part of that healing process 🙂

I am looking forward to having a couple of weekends on the coast over the next little while to do some garden-finishing and to work on a few sewing projects I’ve got rolling around in my head. I don’t know where this urge to make things again is coming from, but I’ve got lots of little experimental ideas and some fabric to try them out with, so seems a good time to get going on them.

(I just cannot believe how much faster this blog is running since the move to the new server on Friday. Woot!)