holiday.

monday reality such a shock after the holiday of a weekend i just took. not that i went anywhere, but had a friend come to the coast for 2 nights, locked the doors and stopped answering the phone. amazingly liberating, this hiding from the world with a fun friend….. my head is still slightly spinning with the fact that for 48 hours i barely thought about the scariness of the world. definitely needed that break from the survivor state i’ve been in lately. 😉

but onto this morning and the hardness of life, i have been summoned to a meeting at 10 to witness the termination of an employee i have been representing in disciplinary matters for about two years. i’ve been researching options for the past couple of weeks and am fully prepared for this eventuality – so i’m not anxious for any reason other than the fact of having to witness something this terrible for another person. unfortunately, being a union representative means being there for people during some of the more stressful and upsetting moments of their working career if not their life. it gets a little bleak sometimes.

i would like to think that all of this – the union stewarding, the eco-court cases, the day to day hurdles in getting through – is actually giving my character more depth rather than flattening it out into one long cynical sigh. i think that is where the balance comes in, the weekend holidays and fun friends which save me despite the weight of freedom which rests on my shoulders.

and so it is, guilt and release, guilt and release. we’ll see how it turns out.