oh drama!

i think i may have to change where i sit on the ferry in the mornings. i’m sure you all remember remember the hunter from my previous blog posting? apparently even accepting one invitation to dinner has given him a sense of familiarity i am really uncomfortable with.

lately it has been a daily commentary on my clothing, my hair, my footwear – you name it – every day new comment. they aren’t particularly offensive (except the one time he inferred that a skirt i was wearing belonged on a teenage girl and not me), but i find that kind of attention to my clothing and appearance by anyone not only unusual, but somewhat humilitating. of course this doesn’t stop at the clothing comments, he seems to pay a lot of attention to what i am or am not doing and poke fun at it pretty much every day. it’s all framed in this very “teasing” tone, but it’s not fun to me and really getting on my nerves, particularly as he practically shouts across the ferry to talk to me, making his opinions about me quite public.

so this morning (in response to his inquiry about why i wasn’t wearing a skirt) i said “really, you don’t need to make comments on my appearance every day” to which he responded, “well, someone’s in a bad mood this morning”… errrrr….. what? i’m in a bad mood because i don’t feel like having a fashion discussion at 6 in the morning with someone i barely know and who’s giving off the creep vibe?

i had a whole ferry ride to think about this exchange as none of my friends were riding this morning and i was on my own.

the fact is, i don’t mind when someone makes the occasional comment here or there about some aspect of my appearance. a lover or a friend can tease me about a particular hairstyle or political opinion and i don’t get all offended about it. this is all part of the friendly and sometimes loving attention we give to each other; acknowledging that which is interesting or funny about those around us. but with the hunter, it just doesn’t feel that way. the impression that keeps coming to me is that the comments are a way of showing others around him that he has a familiarity with me enough to make continual observations in a loud and public fashion, and that he secretly thinks all women (myself being some sort of example) a little bit ridiculous or foolish.

but perhaps he thinks this is the way to show a woman he’s interested? is this really what some men are taught is appropriate?

in any case, i’m basically at the point where i want him to stop interacting with me at all if he can’t keep his distance and i’m thinking the easiest way to deal with it is to impede his ability to comment at me in the mornings by staying the hell away from him.

apparently this is a hazard of dating a fellow commuter (even once!) – lesson noted.