remarkable

it is midnight and i am blogging, a little slow on the uptake this evening, kinda shaky from lack of sleep….. but still in victoria, leaving tomorrow.

on thursday after the inspection, i drove to chilliwack to visit a friend, and on my way received a phone call from the bank informing me cmhc has approved my application for mortgage insurance and i’m clear to go. that means i am pretty much in the home stretch – needing to finalize details this week and give notice on my house for may 1st. i still have lots of paperwork to sign starting tomorrow morning at the bank where i will be signing myself into a purgatory of debt — realizing too late the only change is instead of paying rent to a landlord, interest is really just a form of rent to the bank (but really, i’m too excited about owning my first home to really be at all cynical).

in any case, i left for victoria on friday morning on three hours of sleep (plagued with a fit of insomnia) realizing (again) while on the tswassen-swartz bay ferry that dozens of screaming children are the reason i try not to travel holiday weekends… crowded and late are two more reasons i generally try to time my travels better.

fortunately the party at anna & kyla’s on friday night made up for all of that by shaking me out of my drowsed stupor and reminding me that there are still cool people out there i haven’t met yet – amazing, but true! turned out to be a bit of a mix of music and ecstasy, wine and chatter – with a roaring fire in the fireplace and a lot of friend-making going on by the wee hours of the morning. while i stayed relatively sober (consuming a few glasses of wine), i amused myself by hanging out with the happy people chilling around the fire. needless to say, i got no sleep all night, and only managed to catch a couple of hours in the morning beside another fitful sleeper with whom i spent the rest of the weekend curled up with.

which just is a way of saying i met someone very cool on the weekend, and the best part about it was the reminder that the possibility of connecting with new people always exists even when i feel i have already used all my romance chances at the age of 32… and there are no more to be dealt from the deck. i don’t know yet what this new connection is, but i feel liberated by my lack of need for definition, my lack of desire to pick it apart or explore it too much just yet. what i know is it will unfold in some fashion, in the way it is supposed to, and my strongest feeling about that is curiosity.

the last two months has been a re-opening of my own creative heart, self-respect and joy – so much so that every interaction feels like a first, feels like the best and most ecstatic… making the process so much more enjoyable than any need to predict the future no matter what it is i am doing. i feel the need to catch this feeling here in words only so i can draw upon it again in the future when this phase has worn off somewhat.

after much postponing, i made it to my parent’s house early this afternoon where i have been pleasantly surprised by our visit which has been better than many of our phone conversations as of late. it seems the ship here has righted to some degree and while the underlying tension still exists (it always has and i’m sure always will), it is unlikely to devolve badly on this visit.

so hooray for my friends who invited me this weekend and to the lovely person i met, and to my folks for helping me by acting as guarantors, and for the woman at the bank for being so helpful. i feel remarkably blessed at the moment despite the fact i have had a grand total of 9 hours sleep in the past 72 hour period. i am going to crash now i have un-neglected my blog 🙂