ho hum

there some serious computer frustrations going on for me at the moment. for some reason, i can not access resist or anything using its nameservers from work – unless i go through a proxy connection. this would be fine except to use a proxy slows things down, and at the moment the proxy service i use is barely moving. this problem is the root cause of the non-update yesterday (well, that and i was way too tired when i got home from work to be bothered) – and may continue to plague me….

i am back to work this week after the move and the commute has begun. for the first time in my life i travel more than 20 minutes to get to work – in total it means 15 minutes in my car, 40 minutes on the ferry and 40 minutes on the bus – plus waiting and walking times. this adds up to just under two hours each way. crazy! and i am considering ditching my car on the sunshine coast side and taking the bus instead which will bring it to about 2 hours there, 2 hours 15 minutes home. i don’t particularly like driving first thing in the morning before the coffee has hit… it’s unnerving to think of all those sleepy commuters on the road every day…..

i look forward to the day when i can live and work in a rural community, rather than having to keep returning to the city day in and out just to make a living – but in the meantime, i am taking university classes via distance so i have something useful to occupy my time with on the ferry. i started one course this week and i’m thinking i should begin a second course in short order since i have this almost-enforced study time available to me each day. if i can stay on it, i will have the four undergrad courses i need to qualify for the master’s program in counselling psych in no time, and may have time to take another class or two as well (giving me a wider range of options as to where i could go to school if i decide not to go the distance ed. route for the graduate degree).

having something to do makes the the commute more tolerable as i would have to spend this amount of time working on the courses in any case, so it doesn’t feel like i am missing out on other things i should be doing. we will see if this mood prevails beyond the first few days – though the fact so many people make this daily journey tells me it is entirely possible i will grow accustomed to it over time.

i am starting to feel a lot more balanced today for the first time since the move. the last few days i have been pretty anti-social and a bit depressed in general. uprooting as i did is unsettling to me, and it apparently triggered my fear response about every other aspect of my life which then cascaded and became a bit dark before i was able to come up from it. i need to remember to ground myself more when i am like that or it becomes unbearable.

anyhow – i wish this was a more poetic ramble – but it’s not. here i am, i’m good and commuting is weird (and there will definitely be posts upcoming about the weirdness of commuters in general).

will post more later.