It’s me! I am 37, female and living on the edge of the west coast. A writer, union activist, communications worker, and musician - fellow traveler perhaps? Please do let me know.
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So I’m having a bit of a ponder these days about whether to let my hair finally grow out to it’s natural colour – which I believe to be mostly gray, though I’m not entirely sure since I have continuously dyed my hair for most of the past twenty years. The last time I really tried to let it grow out was about eleven year ago and at that time the grey was not established enough to look good – so I gave it up after a few months and went back to the dye box.
I’ve been going grey steadily since the age of eighteen which is not unheard of in my family (my mother’s maiden name – Whitehead – has always made me wonder since we aren’t a blonde family – were my ancestors premature grayers too?). I have an aunt who was entirely white by the time she hit thirty (and has never dyed her hair), and many relatives who had shocks of white or gray in their hair early in their life – so I know it’s all genetics and not because of some bad lifestyle choice I’ve made at least.
But no matter the cause, prematurely gray hair results in the same consternation for most women, particularly if it strikes in the twenties or thirties (I do not consider going gray at 50 premature as many of the writers on this subject out there seem to). Dyeing has become a ubiquitous part of the beauty regimen for most women, whether it’s just a few strands that have turned traitor or most of the hair has turned shock-white – and it’s no wonder for those of us attempting to hold on to our youth, the pretense of fertility, the privileges that come with being young in our society. To go gray is to get perceptibly older, no matter what the real physical age or health is, and we worry about what that might mean for us in all areas of our lives – relationships, work, sexuality. Such is the primacy that looks play in our society.
I’m sick of it though. The dye boxes, the toxicity, the plastic gloves, the never-ending touchups. Grey hair being more resistant to colour means even more processes for it to take, more plastic tubes being thrown in the garbage, shorter times between dyes. Not to mention that every time we colour we are in denial about who we truly are, what we look like for real. We are accepting the beauty myth every four-to-six weeks as we paint in the roots again and again. A painstaking chore if you ask me. And for what?
So I’ve been researching – which is what I always do when I’m serious about making a decision about something – and it turns out there is a whole website devoted to going gray, maintaining gray hair, and sharing the stories of women who are prematurely gray like me! Turns out it’s a bit of a process if I don’t want to go through hacking my hair right down to the scalp and I could choose to dye or streak my hair lighter first, go with lowlights, or just learn some new styling techniques to hide the line as it advances from the half-inch skunk stripe it is right now down through the rest of my hair. Going gray, apparently, requires some planning. (And I do love to plan)
Because my hair is so long right now, I do think I’m going to have to cut it at least to shoulder length if I’m to get this over with in a reasonable amount of time. My hair does grow quite fast so that’s on my side, but even so I’m sure there are going to be weeks of bad hair days in the process. Fortunately, I’ve got myself a real live salon consultation with a friend from high school next week (owner of Rain Salon) and I’m going to lay it all out for him and see if he can help me. I’ve never really felt the need for a hair “expert” before, but since I’m making this decision I’m feeling like I could use a little help with the process – mostly just keeping an attractive cut and all while the hair is doing its growing out thing I think will help alot (I’m thinking of the cut on this page – photo on the right).
As I write this I’m getting excited with the prospect of being liberated from this particular beauty regimen, something which excited me in my teens (a new colour every week!) that I’ve just grown to hate in my adult years. Not only that, I think it’s time for a new look anyhow and I suspect that if I let my hair go natural I’ll be more likely to get regular, nice hair cuts and styles rather than just relying on a new dye job to perk it all up. I think I’m there as I finish this post. Done convincing myself. Now I need some help to stay on the course because I’m sure I’ll wimp out the minute this skunk stripe gets to two inches and looks awful. Make sure you say some encouraging words to me along the way okay? Cause I’m doing it. I’m gonna choose my 37th year in which to go gray.
I’ve been a bit disatisfied in the last week or so. Not sure why, perhaps because I have a birthday coming up? That could easily be it. This getting older puts a lot of things out of perspective if you ask me. Suddenly I’m not happy with where I’m at or what I’ve accomplished even though my life is ticking along quite nicely if you measure it on any scale. Mostly I think it’s just that a few adjustments are in order and I need to prioritize some things in order that I get them finished! So here, for the record are my short-term goals.
By the end of February:
- I have finished the environment piece.
- I have finished the first draft of my novel.
By the end of March:
- I have submitted all my current polished writing for publication consideration.
By the beginning of April:
- I am riding my bike to and from work at least three days per week.
By the end of May:
- I have a passable second draft of the novel and have submitted it to the Writer’s Studio contest for unpublished manuscripts.
- Viaducteast.ca is fully resurrected with a weekly article and/or photo-essay.
I think that’s probably enough of a forecast, and each of these things is entirely realistic. Mostly I want to get back on with the writing because it gives me the greatest peace of mind even as I’m questioning *why* do it at all. And the bike – well – I’ve just got to fit more activity into my days and travel to-from work is one place to do it. This really is where I want to be by the end of May….. so now I just have to get to it!
My backyard is a mess and there’s a foundation with a single wall sprouting from it at the moment. I hope by the time I go home today there will be at least two more walls – and a doorway from the patio into the enclosure. They say the roof trusses have been ordered, I’m hoping by Monday we’ve got the roof going up. Which would mean the shell of the new structure could be done as early as Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. I’ve got pictures of the first two days, having trouble getting home in time for there still to be light – but will eventually post the project start to finish. At the moment everything looks like a bit of a disaster, but I’m confident that once the guys come and get rid of the detrius, it won’t be quite so scary for me.
In other backyard news, I’ve discovered that it *is* legal to keep honeybees even if you aren’t 25 feet away from your neighbour’s property line as long as you have a six foot high fence where the hives are located. That means if I simply trellis along my back fence I’ll have an enclosure that’s within city guidelines for keeping two hives. My friend Sam wants bees as well so I’m thinking two hives, but looking into low-impact beekeeping ala the barefoot beekeeper. Apparently it’s easier and less chemically than the standard victorian frame-hive beekeeping we’re all so familiar with, not to mention better for natural bee/honey production!
Upshot being, I’m very distracted by my backyard at the moment, and as much as I have lots of work to do I just want to rush home and start reading more, planting more seed starts (oh – did I mention that I’ve got shallot, herb, tomato starts on the go in my little windowsill greenhouse?), watching the shed/studio go up. Really, by May when things are growing and we’ve got it mostly cleaned up, our yard is going to be quite the refuge from the city. That’s the plan anyway, even though it’s hard to see in the gloom of January now that my patio is covered in building detrius and there are old roofing tiles littering the lawn.
Kate Milberry published her doctoral thesis “Geeks and Global Justice” online today in which I am fairly extensively quoted in a couple of sections and a history of the Resist! project (which I helped establish) is given.
I’ve recently agreed to write a 2500-3000 word article on the history of the environmental movement in Canada since 1970 for a US magazine. Easy, right? I mean, there’s got to be a seminal text out there on the subject I can just crib some notes out of – at least that’s what I thought. Turns out, that isn’t really the case and in fact there is no sweeping overview text that some professor wrote in order to support her environmental studies course sometime in the last decade. There are histories of Greenpeace, Clayoquot Sound and a few other specific instances of protest environmentalism out there…. but nothing that surveys the whole gamut, and very little produced outside of British Columbia.
Fortunately I have enough of my own personal knowledge of Canadian environmental movement that I have an idea of where to start (Farley Mowat) and finish (Tar Sands protests), and who the key players and organizations are (GreenPeace was the only thing for the better part of a decade), so instead of being daunted at the moment I’m a little bit excited to sculpt something out of the bits and pieces that do exist around me. I have comandeered my roomate’s old editions of the Earth First Journal to scour for Canadian action items, I have started to note every action that comes to mind in an expanding chronology. Even with the little research I’ve done so far, plus my own history of involvement in protest movements I’ve got enough material to at least start myself off. Now I’ve just got to decide on what form the essay should take. Personal narrative, historical/factual, literary? Do I start with a story of the first clearcut I ever saw? How that moment in 1986 was the same moment that people across the country were having around that same time when they woke up to the industrial slaughter and fought to change it?
Not sure yet. But with 3000 words I’ve got room to maneuver a little between personal narrative and the more chronological/historical piece. I just really don’t want it to be dry! That’s my biggest worry with something like this. The tendancy towards pedantic writing looms large.
If any of you out there have any thoughts – either about sources or approach, I would love to hear them. What tips or techniques could help make an article like this really work?
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