Post #3209: Finding my way back


This week was not about getting lost, but about a few days on my own where I had some reflective moments about a few things that have been a bit off the rails for me lately. Nutrition, for one. And the lack of music and writing in my life of the last few months. Brian was in the city for four days, and as much as I miss him when he’s gone, it’s also when I get a bit of being-time to really sit with some feelings that have been arising in the last few weeks. And now that I’ve done that, I’m focusing December on some ways to rebalance my wheel a little.

Food: This week was a crap week for food. I didn’t like anything I cooked, and I ate way too much starchy carb at the wrong times of the day, which is just a big energy suck. On a positive note, that smartened me right up mid-week and I’ve cut way back on the foods that don’t work for me. One thing I have been making for the last few weeks that really does float my boat right now is a recipe my friend Jenn shared in the summer for Paleo Morning Glory muffins. There are many versions of this on the Internet, but not the exact one she shared with me – so I’ll type it up here in the next few days – because as far as I’m concerned it’s the best – all nut protein and veg with just a tiny bit of honey and apple to sweeten.

Photograph of a woman wearing an oversized shirt with leggings, looking at the camera.
Shetland flannel and an oversized shirt pattern = bliss!

Textiles: The first of The Assembly Line Oversized Shirts is done and I am in love with it. The Shetland flannel I ordered from Spool of Thread is unbelievably soft and quite warm – making it perfect for winter garments. The pattern itself is easy to follow and construct, does not use the dreaded “burrito” method in its construction (I have screwed up the burrito as many times as I have executed it successfully), and has a collarless option which is my preference in button-up shirts. One thing I will say is that this shirt is *very* oversized, so even though a medium is my correct size, it felt a little too big at first (though styling it is important, with the bodysuit and leggings on underneath it doesn’t feel too big at all – whereas with jeans it felt ridiculous).

I am working on my second version of this, in a slightly heavier flannel, red herringbone – size small. By cutting it down just a bit all over, I think the fit will be a bit more forgiving in terms of pairing with jeans. Should be done by the end of the weekend and then I can start working on a pair of jeans for Brian which is the next project in my queue.

Photograph of blue-black buttons on the cuff of a shirt sleeve.

Fitness: Last Sunday I ran nearly 7 kilometres which is the longest I have ever run in my life. The trails were muddy, and I had to do some creek hopping, but it was a satisfying circuit and my overall pace wasn’t bad either. I skipped my run on Tuesday (it was pouring rain), and went for a short run yesterday with a much-improved pace. I guess it’s true that to run faster you have to run longer distances. I also made it into the gym as per my regular (M/W/F) schedule for masked workouts on the heavy weights and some extra core work. I’m back at the point where I need to switch things up a bit and get back to some of the speed drills and core work I was doing in the summer – so I’m doing that.

Work: Work and union work have both been busy lately. I had a grievance hearing last week, and this week have been doing research to support another grievance, plus trying to get a lot completed on my staffing file, plus managing a large project that is still not well-defined and needs to get there (defined, that is) in the next two weeks. On the plus side, I have been making to-do lists, sticking to them, and getting things done – so I can look over the last week of notes and see actual progress. That always feels good.

Notable: During this pandemic lockdown period, single people are allowed to attach themselves to a household – and so we have invited two different single friends to be a part of our household for now – which more than anything else means we can have dinner together. All of us are low-circulation within our small community and we don’t have anyone coming/going from our house at the moment – so it feels like a safe enough approach on our end, but also a little lifeline to some folks we care about living alone out there, and a way to safely have a little company at Birdsong. Tonight we have paella and red wine on the agenda!

Also, I sang some songs this week while I was on my own, and I plan to sing some more over the next little while. My voice is in terrible shape, but like anything, will come back with just a few minutes practice per day and so I’ve set the intention for the coming month to find my way back into myself just a little bit through singing, and playing music, and maybe even writing a bit more. I see how much I’ve externalized during the pandemic, bit by bit moving to the outside of myself (weight lifting, running, etc) and abandoning the inside (music, writing, spiritual) to some degree. As I said up top, I need to rebalance the wheel a little, and it starts by learning a few new songs to sing!

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